a day in the life

It is a lovely Wednesday night in the Drap household, a couple years ago that might have meant a much more chaotic scene, but these days, it consists of me and my parents laying on the couch watching America's Got Talent and gawking at the embarassment that is the majority of these contestants. Granted, I admire the moxy these people have, the amount of confidence it takes to actually gets up on that stage and attempt a hiphop career via a flute solo or let someone staple dollar bills to their chest, but WHY?! I would really love to know what is running through some of these people's heads, are their perceptions really so skewed that they truly believe they are the next Aretha Franklin or Gene Kelly? Sometimes madness is genious, but other times, it's just madness. I'll stick with my deskjob before I'd ever consider going on TV in front of millions of Americans. Even looking back at the 2 or 3 dance recitals I've done in my life, I remember how sick I felt before going on stage, before the blinding lights blurred out the judgmental faces in the crowd, and that was a crowd of maybe 100-200 people, never mind millions! I feel like the ability to perform on stage is one of those gifts a person is just born with, there's no developing it out of nowhere, it's that one specific "it" factor. Your brain has to function in a certain way, just like mathematicians and scientists view things rationally with facts and numbers, performers and artists work with what they feel. Where does my brain fall between the extremes? I have no idea. I wish I had some kind of clear direction in life. I change my mind about what career I want to pursue on nearly a weekly basis. From the restaurant business, to insurance, to government, I just want to find a field that inspires me. Right now I work with insurance, which to be honest has probably been one of the best job experiences I've had so far, in terms of experience. Granted, there are ignorant customers (hard to avoid) and a large amount of pressure to get things done right, but it's worth it for the few customers that I actually am able to help out of a sticky situation. It is also nice to be trusted with as much responsibility as my boss delegates to me, it makes me feel like an integral part of the company. However, I am not exactly the sales person "type", I am pretty positive I could never be completely happy cold-calling people that request quotes and trying to pitch them reasons why they should join our company when they will most likely just end up like the other 20% of customers we already have that never pay on time, if they pay at all. But, for the mean time, it's good experience and it's a job. Which, in our current economic state, is a small miracle. Talking with customers who've been laid off or received wage cuts only make me appreciate the opportunity given to me more. There are people out there unable to afford rent, healthcare, or even food to put on the table as I sit here in my parent's air conditioned house with a klondike bar by my side. It makes me realize that I shouldn't take anything for granted, because the tides can turn in the blink of an eye. As the Nickelback song goes, "each day is a gift and not a given right, leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind and try to take the path less traveled by."