home for the holidays...

it has been over a month since i last wrote a post. i had intended on writing in this blog much more often, but this was a far busier month and a half than i had imagined. amidst the overwhelming amount of papers, tests, and projects, my grandfather passed away. he was sick beforehand so we knew it was only a matter of time, but my dad had called everyone and given them the room number to the hospital. when i called he was awake but not quite able to speak, when mom gave him the phone, the only words i could coherently make out were 'i love you' before breaking down into a hysterical sob. the next day i got the news that he had passed and just broke down even worse, probably made most of my roomates feel extremely awkward, but they were so amazing, especially julie. when i came back in from talking on the phone i just folded on my bed and tried to focus on breathing. she put a cold cloth on my face and rubbed my back while i cried on the bed. my roomate let me know she was there for me, and kristen even made me a little construction paper heart that said we love you. i appreciate the support they all gave me more than they know. and i was glad i was able to make it to the funeral to help support my mom. considering how strong my mom has always been, supporting us when times were tough, i felt like we needed to stay strong and be her rock this time. i held on relatively strong until the day of the actual funeral, when my mom crumbled into her seat and said 'im so broken' with more tears rushing down her face than i have ever seen on her. it was a tough day, but i believe he's happy up there, finally reunited with his wife, probably taking a shot of scotch in honor of the yankees winning that world series! since then, things have gotten a little better, i can still tell my mom is hurting, and whenever she hears one of those classic irish songs, she still gets a tear in her eye that she tries to hide by walking away, but i still know. she really wanted all of us kids to stay at the house for christmas eve and then wake up all together and open presents. but, sadly with everyone's schedule that plan couldnt quite work out. but, i think she still enjoyed how it all worked out. we had everyone over for christmas eve, had early dinner and opened presents. i got a bunch of great things, from nice new clothes, to an external harddrive, and a hand-me-down laptop! but i think the best part of it all was having the whole family happy and healthy under the same roof. christmas is my favorite holiday of the year (even better than my BIRTHDAY), and one of my friends actually asked me why i like it so much the other day. and honestly, i think its because it is the one single day in the year filled with pure self-less joy -- everyone smiles a little more and fights a little less. individuals become the people you'd wish they'd be all year. on top of the great family christmas, i also managed to get through all my classes with 2 As, a B, and a C. i now only have one semester left before im done, and i cant wait!!