♫ i can feel the pressure, its getting closer now... ♫

so, at the close of week two, i am officially back into the college grind. am i excited? stressed? i dont even know. i started off my return to the bury feeling depressed. never have i ever missed my mother so much in my life. even as recently as two days ago i couldnt finish our phone conversation without feeling choked up. maybe that makes me a baby, but i dont care, i love my mom, and i miss our morning breakfasts together. but still, i am getting back into the swing of college life, though i must admit, there is something severely lacking due to the absence of joel, fink, and ian. i never realized how much of my time revolved around them until they were no longer around to putz around with. the girls i live with are very nice though, im slowly starting to get used to their individual personalities, and hopefully as the semester goes on we'll come to be close friends. my roomate in particular is pretty cool, we have the same general taste in music (which believe me, is a big deal), and same basic sleep schedule. there are a few little things that are getting to me, but nothing that i cant deal with. i gotta say though, living in an apartment with 7 other girls is an experience unlike any other. i often feel slightly anti-social. im so used to staying in my own room and getting my work done, but the shared living room brings a whole new aspect to this dorm situation. i feel like i should go out there more and try to talk with them, but honestly it can be really exhausting to be on "lets bond" mode at all times. especially combined with my absurd workload. this is the lightest amount of credits i have ever taken in college (13 credits) and i have never had to work so hard in my life. i have multiple papers due each week, projects all over the place, and so much reading (and REREADING because the material might as well be in chinese with how well i understand it). i didnt think i could honestly feel so overwhelmed by week two, yet here i am on a friday night...doing homework. but, i am doing my best to stay on top of it all and stay organized, and so far its worked out, but i can already tell studying for some of these tests is going to be torture. but ill cross that bridge when i come to it, one step at a time. other than all that, i am generally pretty excited to be back in salisbury, just to be back to doing something productive with my time instead of filling it up with tv programming (though that is always fun as well). i just like feeling like im working towards a purpose i guess, in this case the purpose being: graduating this year. i must admit though, the thought of leaving college still scares the living bageejus out of me; knowing that my days, months, years are no longer outlined by midterms, finals, or projects, but that the options are unlimited. full freedom. horrifying really. exciting, but horribly horrifying. and yet i cant wait.